Facebook has pretty limited options for marketing and all of that, but it can provide a fairly interesting insight into the life of a heavy user.
While I don’t spend a lot of time browsing stuff on Facebook, I usually have a window or application open so I can update it as and when.
I usually use it for sharing links but often update my status with something I think is interesting, amusing or bizarre.
Whether other people find this interesting or not is debatable, but as a way of keeping in touch it’s quite novel.
What’s more, it arguably provides an interesting view into how a website curator might interact with readers. Could there be a time, in the future, when individuals are appointed solely as the human social media face of large organisations?
It’s a possibility that interests me, particularly in light of the rise of brandividuals who come to represent a business in an online environment. Could curators be appointed just to sit on Hootsuite all day updating Facebook and Twitter with engaging stuff? Perhaps, perhaps not.
If nothing else it’s a rather more engaging way of explaining how 2009 appeared to me, particularly if you see how many references to popular culture you can spot.
I’ve stripped out all of the links and more prosaic ones, with plenty of music, radio, social media, TV and film references left in. Virtually all are quotes, posed for my friends to decipher.
It may not mean much to you, but in all likelihood it’s a lot more interesting than the media- and journalism-based round-up of 2009 I’d originally planned.
What’s on your mind?
‘s hand is still grill-singed
wonders if anyone has recently swigged a can of coke and burped the word ‘bollocks’
is appalled by the duplicity of Little Chef’s senior management.
screams like a panther in the middle of the night
lacks the minerals and vitamins
has been sorely disappointed by Death Proof and Doomsday, two very bad films
is photoshopping pictures of last of the summer wine
just rasterised a JPEG
is very sorry but, he has to tell you that, you’ve got ringworm. Very infectious disease
what if Mike Catt was a cat?
I got through to the darts quarters but was bowled by a small child at nets. Both feel like defeats.
newest spam email: Hurt her with your rod
latest spam email: Your sister is in danger
Maureen’s got five sisters…they’ve all got ass…one of them has eyes as big as Jolly Ranchers
Latest spam: Give her flash some porking
Let’s go to dolphinarium together
what’s happened to all my clothes, what’s happened to all my furniture?
three of my friends became fans of ‘chesty girls’?
Freaky eaters? Lock em in a shed with some lettuces for a weak and see how choosy they are. bloody idiots.
Edward de Bono is one of my tailored ads? What does that say about me?
2 friends became fans of french knickers?
that hallowe’en goatie has come back to haunt me
is Rock Strongo
‘Sarcasm!3 friends are fans.Become a Fan’ Become a fan? I wrote the fucking book mate.
I just failed the quiz ‘how well do you know Robin Brown?’
I sin every single day
got into a youtube barney cos I said Shearer would knock roy keane out, which he obviously would. In fact, I think Desmond Tutu would knock keane out.
just watched a young lady having her piles burned off on embarrassing bodies. still in middle of hour-long retching session
kevin pietersen woke up this morning with ‘general stiffness’. don’t we all?
always thought byers was a little weasel
has dreamt of rubies
i wonder whatever happened to Tracey Jacks
4 games of cricket in 6 days. can my creaking knees, heels, shins and back handle it?
just wants a bit part in your life
the cruffatin liveth
let me go the the depths of your infinity!
dicks also fuck assholes, chuck!
can’t, won’t and don’t stop
six wickets – i’m back!
i am the fly
random vacuous update concerning food, TV or weather
is nobody’s fool. Plenty of people’s bastard, but nobody’s fool
Angry jealous spies/got telephones for eyes
Face or tits?
I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass….
looks like i picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue
has gone from being Den Davis to Den Dildo!
long live the new flesh
Ameobi hat-trick. Bet not even Shola saw that coming
won’t you come on down to my rescue?
‘you bastard, you absolute bastard!’ ‘you slut, you absolute slut!’
i’ve decided to take my work back underground, to stop it falling into the wrong hands
There is radar in my heart I should have trusted from the start
i would like it if aung sang suu kyi were freed, but I’m not sure ticking a miniature ‘thumbs up’ sign on Facebook will help much
If there’s one thing on my mind, it’s gettin downstate
would like to protest in the strongest terms about everything
just when i though i could not be stopped, when my chance came to be king…
FACT, The Thing, tonight 11.30pm. Anyone?
beefy beefy mushroom
i love my drug bunny
Kruder & Dorfmeister radio on Spotify…like 2001 all over again
Is re-reading William Shatner’s TekWar
won’t you come to comfort me?
Surprised Eastenders didn’t save the ‘Stacey goes mad and gets carted off to the looney bin’ episode for Xmas Day
Attempting Keith Floyd recipe – trout in newspaper. Expect to set fire to oven, poison self with new sort of newsprint or simply fuck the whole thing up completely
i got 96 tears and 96 eyes
is in love with a German film star
Needs a temporary secretary
Dont admire thieves… hey they don’t admire you, their time’s limited, hardrocks too
Stereo MCs DJ Kicks, brill
There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea is asleep, and the rivers dream…
Let’s get killed
Roast pork with suet pudding
everybody spread the word, i live in my sister’s basement
‘There is a specter haunting Europe…’
Boing boom tschak peng!
I have never met anyone who thinks the future is Knowsley
Facebook wants me to become a fan of MILFs
Ensanguining the skies, how heavily it dies
Relaxation is death
I wouldn’t let Grace Slick blow me
Death has come to your little town, Sheriff
Pass me the suitcase, baby I know it’s not that easy
kim the cleaning lady’s espousal of equal rights as explained via sexual positions would have enlivened my feminism seminars
Just saw a pigeon eating a fruit pastille
Wish I had an autumn almanac
Mama said knock you out
Jumper was inside out all day yesterday
ow my balls
is clinically a beast
Wish I could stop sticking out my tongue when I concentrate
People will be able to tell when I’ve had my nervous breakdown when I’m found slowly driving around Vice City, observing traffic lights and listening to Emotion 98.3 – tears silently tumbling down my face
some people call it a one-night stand but we can call it paradise
I can see a blue tit
You can do it put your back into it
is going to start calling everyone ‘kid’ from now on
trousers fell down on way to lark lane
Ham-fisted bun vendor
one drop of that could turn you all into hermit crabs
I believe in my own obsessions, in the beauty of the car crash, mystery of multi-storey car parks, in the poetry of abandoned hotels
Living a boy’s adventure tale
Smell the glove
Applying the hot teaspoon to the forehead of life
game over man, game over
“Joanna Lumley? She’s got a plastic arsehole hasn’t she?”
walking a fine line between love and hate
I hate lowering my balls into a hot bath – Become a Fan