What does Adrian Chiles look like?

Adrian Chiles seems be the word on everyone’s lips at the moment, with rumours abounding about his personal life and the MOTD2 and One Show frontman’s extraordinary facial hair pinging around the web.

Personally I like Chiles – even though he’s horribly overexposed and The One Show is beyond critical description – and have done ever since he made business news compelling viewing on Working Lunch about 15 years ago.

But his gingery, unkempt beard seems to have been the final straw for many people, who are busy voicing their displeasure on social networks across the land.

‘Tramp’ is the word that most frequently occurs in relation to the hirsute Chiles, and it’s probably the kindest. As a fellow beard-sporter I sympathise with him.

But as a human being I cannot help but recoil in horror at the reddish monstrosity nesting on his face. To my eyes he looks like an arctic explorer, lost and feral, forced to feed on the blubber from a whale carcass. What do you think?

Here’s some suggestions from around the web (the first three, and among the best, are from mates of mine) as to what the beardy Chiles looks like:

• Come on Chiles, have a shave. You look a mess, man. Far from the intended ‘rugged’, it’s more ‘hungover bear’.

• Flicked to MOTD2 during break in the snooker – aaaargh. Adrian Chiles has a beard. He looks like a homeless Henry VIII.

• Adrian Chiles’ beard makes him look like the violent alcoholic captain of a Victorian steamship.

• Adrian Chiles’ beard is ridiculous….is homeless? kipping on a mates couch? he looks like the leader of his own cult

• The unshaved look may be fashionable, but it still looks crap in orange on a chubby bloke

• Oh Adrian Chiles, with your big comforting face. It’s as if you have a massive battered old armchair instead of a head.

• Watching #MOTD2 wondering why Adrian Chiles has a beard? He looks like an obese bear grylls!!

• Adrian Chiles looks like he’s gone feral!

• I actually like Adrian Chiles, but he looks even more like a scrotum with that beard

• Also, #MotD2 appear to have dragged Adrian Chiles out of hibernation. WTF, dude? Don’t you wash before going on tv? Sheesh…

• I think Adrian Chiles has really got into #wallander – he’s looking more like Kurt every week

• Not at all sure about Adrian Chiles facial fuzz on #motd2 He looks like Oliver Reed in Castaway but without Amanda Donohoe in the nip.

• Adrian chiles beard on match of the day 2, what the fuck? Looks like a care bear sex offender.

• Adrian chiles’ beard makes him look like an ewok.

• Adrian chiles, sort your facial hair out, quite frankly, you look like a tit!

• Adrian Chiles’s head looks like a potato carved by an idiot.

UPDATE: Dave Quinn ups the ante:

• Adrian Chiles still has a beard. His head looks like a partly deflated volley ball that’s fallen into a Hoover bag.

UPDATE 2: Another!

• Is it just me, or is Adrian Chiles starting to look like a fat version of General Madine?

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New forehead, new danger

This is my entry for the David Cameron – Airbrushed for Change website, which has been busy adapting Conservative Party print and billboard ads that showed a somewhat digitally-enhanced Cameron. The spoofs picture Call-Me-Dave Cameron next to a series of doctored slogans unlikely to feature in official Tory Party ad campaigns.

A slew of spoofs have hit the web to mock Cameron and Tory party policy, though it all seems to be in good fooling. Gordon Brown certainly seemed to think so when he unexpectedly slaughtered Dave over the poster on PMQs.

Those with a spot of historical election knowledge will spot the reference in mine to Saatchi & Saatchi’s infamous Demon Eyes ad from 1997. It seemed appropriate to adapt that original Conservative attack ad in having a pop back at Dave.

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